TEXTING & WALKING

RED CARD I hate people who text while they walk. This video cracks me up; she is actually thinking of suing the city for falling into a manhole because she was too busy texting to look where she was going?? Sounds like she got what she deserved to me. I hate when I’m walking down a city street and I end up behind some idiot who is walking super slow, meandering along because he is concentrating on composing a text rather than walking, straight ahead at a reasonable pace. When I’m stuck behind one of these idiots, I am forced to do the oh-so-subtle passive aggressive slight nudge, evil eye pass-by. The sidewalks are like a minefield of morons, walking on the sidewalk is like driving, there needs to be a law book or guidelines for these idiots to follow. I wish there were more stories like this one, so that people can learn the perils of walking and texting. Well, I guess I’m not wishing for more people to get hurt but I certainly want them to get out of my way!

DRIVING

RED CARD If you are at a green turn arrow and are not moving, I think I should have the right to hit you and you should be the one who receives that traffic violation. Sometimes I wish the roads were more like bumper cars and we could just push people out of our way. Bump out the people who sit at green lights, or don’t pull out into the intersection when they are turning left or who drive slow in the left lane. UGH! Or maybe there should be a citizen’s arrest system for such idiotic behavior or maybe I’ll install a digital sign on the side of my car. It could be like one of those stock price tickers and I could make it read, “Move out of the fast lane!” or whatever else I need to tell the morons on the road. Driving, next to plane travel, I can’t think of anything worse. It’s a necessary part of life that unfortunately is full of idiots.

FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE 3

YELLOW CARD Horoscopes really? Tarot cards? Why do people think that we want to know what their horoscopes or tarot card readings say (as seen in the images from my iPhone)? And who even reads that type of thing anymore let alone share that they read such nonsense on Facebook. I’ve managed to block Farmville and other games from my news feed but now I have to block horoscopes and tarot readings. Why is it my responsibility to take my time and go through and block all these useless Apps from cluttering my homepage? And another thing, you shouldn't be posting so often that your posts are showing up consecutively in my news feed. I got 3 tarot readings in a row from one person and then saw another one of my "friends" post 12 YouTube videos in a row. Annoying. What is the appeal of all these games, applications, etc? Isn't Facebook supposed to be just a form of communication and engagement, not this silliness? Don't clutter Facebook with games and second-life type nonsense, please.

HEADPHONES

RED CARD So I have a bit of a dilemma here, I love music and I love listening to it on the train, while I walk, while I study, while on a plane, while I work in the computer lab (as seen in the photo I took this weekend), etc., but what I HATE is when I can hear someone else’s music when I’m not listening to any. I can’t stand it when I'm sitting in the library or on the train and all I hear is the bass and treble of a song blaring out of someone else’s headphones. And the worst is when someone is wearing Apple’s ear buds, those things are practically useless. They blare as much sound to the general public as they to do the person using them. So what’s the answer? I feel like a hypocrite because I think music is one of the best parts of life, but the truth is being annoyed is one of the worst parts. Ugh. Especially with these hipsters who think that every day is a scene from some elitist independent film with their outfits and “indie” music. Not to mention these are the same individuals who text a mile a minute "clicking and clicking" away right next to me. Like I always say, there are just too many people put on this earth just to be annoying. Do they not realize who they are? Are they just disregarding those around them? Regardless, just turn it down.

FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE 2

YELLOW CARD And another thing, do we need to know how much you love your husband or sister or cousin or whatever. I'm assuming that if you've changed your relationship status to "married" and linked it to your husband's name and you constantly post pictures of the two of you together and your kids if you have them, that you do in fact love your husband. Do these kind of posts really go viral? Is there some sort of love brigade on Facebook I don't know about? Does your husband read this and think it's cute? Do your friends read it and think it's romantic? What if he is your best friend but is lazy and doesn't work hard? Has Hallmark secretly infiltrated Facebook and forced us to make up these ridiculous holidays? Are they going to start marketing Hallmark posts that you can buy and post to show your true love on Facebook? Hmmm, maybe I'm on to something here....

FACEBOOK ETIQUETTE

YELLOW CARD Why do people and especially bands feel the need to write entire essays in their posts? When I look at Facebook on my iPhone, I like to be able to scroll through my friends' posts and see what's going on in the world, but when you scroll over a post such as this one, it is so long it takes up the entire screen. I'm sorry, but if your post takes up an entire screen, do you really think someone is going to read the whole thing? I totally support local music and fun cover bands, but come on. I can tell you right now, when I am continually "spammed" by these ridiculously long posts, I'm tempted to just delete them as a friend entirely. I understand that you want to get the word out about your next show and you want to set yourself apart from all the other bands, but honestly, there has to be a better way. It's a post, it's supposed to be "What's on your mind?" Didn't bands learn their lesson with MySpace? People don't want clutter on their social websites, keep it simple.

TELEVISION PROGRAMMING

RED CARD Sometimes I just get so frustrated by the decisions of the "powers that be." Why is it that we have that stupid show about the Kardashians or dancing or hurting yourself or losing weight or breaking up or falling in love but we can't keep snows on the air like Arrested Development and Flash Forward? I mean, it's not all bad, I do love 30 Rock, Modern Family and I will always honor Seinfeld. I'm hoping it's no surprise (well unless you are an idiot) that as THE REF, I enjoy shows that intelligently mock idiotic behavior. But sadly, today there are just so many bad shows on the air, I can't even keep track. Thank goodness the cable networks are picking up some of the slack, honestly who doesn't love Weeds and Dexter? And don't even get me started on Six Feet Under, that was truly a great show. Oh how I miss it.

I get it; some people just want to turn off their brain function when they watch TV. But I will continue to wait for another show that gives us such hilarious characters as the Bluths. I'm hopeful that they attempted it with Running Wilde but it doesn't seem to be delivering. So I guess what I'm saying is the state of TV programming gets a big red flag. No show has made me laugh as hard as GOB and Tobias (analrapist). Or how funny was the Cornballer, the guest appearances by Liza and the Fonz, and being “never nude?” Man, that show was hilarious! Ironically, it never even had a chance to “jump the shark.” So please if there are any shows out there that are worth my attention and engage my intelligence, let me know!

BAGGAGE CLAIM

YELLOW CARD Plane travel is a true test of one's patience. For example, why is it that no matter how much space there is available at the baggage claim belt, the idiots have to flock to the spot right next to you? And then after they have crowded your personal space (this is your dance space, this is my dance space ) do they have to slowly ease their way in front of you as if you aren't waiting for a bag as well? Then you are forced to do the oh-so-subtle, passive aggressive scoot-forward and huff dance to regain your dominance. These idiots are most definitely always the ones who are actually surprised that their luggage isn't there already. I'm the first to admit that I have no patience, but honestly, does complaining about it make your luggage get there any faster? At this point in my traveling I'm usually about to burst, because I've sat through an entire plane ride with sniffling, coughing, snoring, chewing, crying, masses just to hear the same voices standing in front of me at baggage claim still annoying me. Ugh. So if you are reading this and you know exactly what I am talking about, vent your frustrations here! This site is for you! And if you are one of those idiots, please for the rest of our sakes, stop it!