WALKING=DRIVING

YELLOW CARD If you are caught in a game of chicken on the sidewalk, just stay to the right. This allows the sidewalks to flow as freely as a two-lane highway. That’s right, walking is just like driving. When you walk down a busy sidewalk, you should follow the same rules you do when you drive. So stay to the right, yield when you are turning left in front of oncoming traffic, look before you exit a store as you enter an “intersection” into oncoming traffic, etc. Although, I guess this advice doesn’t help if you are an idiot on the road. Maybe bad drivers are the idiots I can’t stand on the sidewalk. Or maybe sidewalk idiots are on the sidewalk because they don’t know how to drive and therefore don’t understand the rules of the road. Either way, whether walking or driving, people need to review the traffic rules. 

DRIVING

RED CARD If you are at a green turn arrow and are not moving, I think I should have the right to hit you and you should be the one who receives that traffic violation. Sometimes I wish the roads were more like bumper cars and we could just push people out of our way. Bump out the people who sit at green lights, or don’t pull out into the intersection when they are turning left or who drive slow in the left lane. UGH! Or maybe there should be a citizen’s arrest system for such idiotic behavior or maybe I’ll install a digital sign on the side of my car. It could be like one of those stock price tickers and I could make it read, “Move out of the fast lane!” or whatever else I need to tell the morons on the road. Driving, next to plane travel, I can’t think of anything worse. It’s a necessary part of life that unfortunately is full of idiots.