AIRPLANE CONCERT?

RED CARD I am not making up this story. As you can tell I am on an airplane a lot, so here is another story of the unbelievable idiots I encounter in my travels. It was Labor Day, Monday, September 6 late afternoon. The airplane was quite full. About mid-way through the flight I noticed how surprisingly peaceful the flight was. I stayed awake this flight since I was traveling with my boyfriend and I thought it rude to sleep. Anyway, all the sudden I hear music blasting from across the plane. Not only was it horrible adult light FM crap, but also it was blasting though an iPhone. So from a distance all you could here were tiny distorted sounds. I managed to get a good look at the idiot and sure enough, it was some guy holding up his iPhone between his and his wife’s seats so they could both enjoy some tunes. Really? Who does that? I was astonished. I of course, gave them my best passive aggressive, what the heck are you thinking stare, so much so that I thought I might have injured myself. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I was speechless. Now that I look back at the incident, I am for lack of a better word, impressed. The idiots in this world surprise me everyday. Each time I think I have encountered the most annoying person or endured the most annoying experience, the next idiot doesn’t fail.

PLANE BOARDING

RED CARD Why, oh why, does it take so long to board a plane? When stupid people arrive at their seat aisle on an airplane do they (a) not realize that the people behind them can't get by them or (b) just not care? I do not understand why it takes so long to board a plane. I fly Southwest frequently, I love its boarding groups and no baggage fee policy, but I have found that this much freedom gives way to an unbelievable amount of idiotic behavior. Last time I flew Boston to Chicago it was 6am; therefore the plane was pretty empty. There were about 60 passengers for a plane that accommodates approximately 165 people. So why is it everyone fought over squeezing into the first 10 rows? I kid you not, a couple waited to squeeze into a row where every other seat was full instead of moving towards the back where there were completely empty rows? I moved toward the back and got tons of room to myself, I was so excited to spread out. But of course some idiot had to sit next me, versus the many empty rows still left! Is this proof that humans are in fact sheep, and will only go where the flock goes? And my final thought, if it's going to take you forever to lift your carryon into the overhead bin, move into the row and let the rest of us get by. This seems so obvious but there are just so many idiots that can't get it into their heads.

BAGGAGE CLAIM

YELLOW CARD Plane travel is a true test of one's patience. For example, why is it that no matter how much space there is available at the baggage claim belt, the idiots have to flock to the spot right next to you? And then after they have crowded your personal space (this is your dance space, this is my dance space ) do they have to slowly ease their way in front of you as if you aren't waiting for a bag as well? Then you are forced to do the oh-so-subtle, passive aggressive scoot-forward and huff dance to regain your dominance. These idiots are most definitely always the ones who are actually surprised that their luggage isn't there already. I'm the first to admit that I have no patience, but honestly, does complaining about it make your luggage get there any faster? At this point in my traveling I'm usually about to burst, because I've sat through an entire plane ride with sniffling, coughing, snoring, chewing, crying, masses just to hear the same voices standing in front of me at baggage claim still annoying me. Ugh. So if you are reading this and you know exactly what I am talking about, vent your frustrations here! This site is for you! And if you are one of those idiots, please for the rest of our sakes, stop it!