PARKING LOTS

RED CARD - I feel like there a hundred things I could say about parking lots. Now that I live in the suburbs of Chicago, I have to battle the idiots in there gigantic SUVs, meandering pedestrians, and runaway carts, ugh. But why do some parking lots have those stupid diagonal spots? Does it save space, no. Does it make my life easier, no. I guess it keeps traffic flowing in one direction per aisle but that is completely dependent on idiots being able to follow the directional arrows - which they rarely do. I just want to be able to pull into any aisle I want, without having to identify the directional angle of the cars of the faded arrows at the end of each aisle. This is an example of some idiot in power making this "efficient" but really it ends up being complicated and annoying.

OSCARS 2011

YELLOW CARD - Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted anything. You know how busy life can get  - especially when faced with so many obstacles (morons) that make it interesting (well, frustrating as heck really). So much has happened since I’ve blogged. Where do I begin… let me say happy New Year and good luck to the morons who make resolutions, the Superbowl was a true testament to the moronic nature of Chicago sports, and so on. But the most exciting thing that has happened is my Superbowl – the Oscars. So here is The Ref’s short and (not) sweet summary.

Overall, the ceremony was bad. Both hosts were annoying and each joke was forced. I cringed so many times for them! James Franco was pretty useless. I thought Anne Hathaway looked great but she wears too much make-up!  However, there was great variety in her gowns and they were all stunning enough to be on-stage at the Oscars. She has a great body for gowns. Thought her hair was perfect each time too.

Why did Hugh Jackman get mentioned 20 times?

All the men were boring, but most looked good. Yet, why do "serious" actors grow stupid beards? Yuck. You are hot, be hot.

And none of the awards surprised me. I think I only guessed one wrong.

They were all obvious. Boring year for movies (I am sad to say).

Helen M. - Loved here dress, although the necklace should have been shorter

Mandy Moore - loved them both, it looked like they were both by the same designer so maybe she had a deal with Monique L.

Sharon Stone - better than usual but scary.

Mila - Love

Natalie – Boring

Sandra - Love, my fave, although I hate buns. It was retro and reminded me of pretty woman

Halle – Loved. I appreciate that she is the poster for African American women in film, but how could she have forgotten Whoopi in her acceptance speech I’ll never know

Sunrise Raffalo - Stupid name, bad dress

Gwyneth - Loved the dress, she can't sing, stop it.

Penelope - Hated it, looked like a homecoming dress you wear in the 90s. Although I love her and Javier, I think they are so cute. She had bad hair and he looked like he gained pregnancy weight.

Nicole - BAD, a ponytail? Really. Bad dress, she couldn't put her arms down.

Amy Adams - loved the color and her hair, but no one looks good in cap sleeves

Michelle W - loved it, love Chanel but something was off. Loved her hair and make-up

Scarlett - Hated it, hate her, looked good from the back though.

Hailee - I liked the headband, it is age appropriate, she looked perfect

Annette  - She and Meryl are both allowed to look bad at their age; they are talented and natural, and aging gracefully

Helena - Looking bad is getting boring

Cate B - I love that she is dressing for fashion, but that was bad.

Reese - Was very Julia, but I loved it, she has rocking curves in it

Camilla  - WHY are she and Mathew there, loved the dress. Although it seems very 2008.

Hillary Swank - Loved, she isn't pretty but she is talented. Maybe my favorite

Jennifer H - Yuck, she looked wrong. Her face looks weird now and her

T's were awful! I loved the purple shoes.

Jennifer Lawrence - Looked hot but she looked like she was going to

the Golden Globes and not the Oscars

Melissa Leo - NO

Robert Downey - loved it, love him, although his banter with Jude was dumb

Justin Timberlake - go away

Florence - Dumb

Marisa Tomei - Bad fit, bad color, bad hair, she looked old and just bad

Celine - Loved the material but it was dumb. She is so ugly and I hate her.

Cheryl Hines  - Loved it, but not for her and the top did not fit

Melania Trump  - Whatever, she is tall rich and thin.

Giuliana - Yuck, she looks like a caricature she is so thin and ugly

Kelly Osborne  - She is ok, I get what she is trying to go for with her look, but it's

boring and off most of the time. She is too nice when she does the Fashion Police and she always says - I love the detail in this dress it’s absolutely beautiful.

Madonna - is totally Cher now! Yuck

WALKING=DRIVING

YELLOW CARD If you are caught in a game of chicken on the sidewalk, just stay to the right. This allows the sidewalks to flow as freely as a two-lane highway. That’s right, walking is just like driving. When you walk down a busy sidewalk, you should follow the same rules you do when you drive. So stay to the right, yield when you are turning left in front of oncoming traffic, look before you exit a store as you enter an “intersection” into oncoming traffic, etc. Although, I guess this advice doesn’t help if you are an idiot on the road. Maybe bad drivers are the idiots I can’t stand on the sidewalk. Or maybe sidewalk idiots are on the sidewalk because they don’t know how to drive and therefore don’t understand the rules of the road. Either way, whether walking or driving, people need to review the traffic rules. 

FOUR SCARE

YELLOW CARD I can't decide how I feel about geo-tagging technology like Four Square. Well, that is a lie, I hate it but I have to say I like it because as a marketer it's a great way to find and target potential customers. But it's creepy right? I mean, how could it possibly be a good idea to let strangers know where you are? I know you have to "friend" someone before they can see your status, but how can you know if the guy you "friended" who you know from high school, hasn't grown up to be a psycho stalker? Most of us don't really know the people we "friend" on our social media sites. So I guess its up to each of us to be careful when using social media sites. The dangers of geo-tagging will likely be a hot-topic for a long time. I can just see the Law and Order SVU episode now, Benson or Stabler making a smart remark, "This poor girl just wanted to use social media to meet friends, but instead met her end." DUN DUN