SKUNK HEAD

YELLOW CARD Who started this look? And who actually thinks it looks good? Stripes only occur in the wild, not on humans. Are you trying to look like a skunk or a sick tiger? Could you not decide what hair color you wanted, so you chose two? And the funny thing is, highlights are not cheap. So ironically, people spend a lot of money to look cheap. I can’t understand why these types of bad hairstyles are popular among teenagers and soccer moms. Maybe they are the ones telling each other it looks cool.

DRIVE-THRU

YELLOW CARD I rarely eat at McDonald’s (I do frequently go just for the Diet Coke, because true DC addicts know it’s the best), but when I get a craving for a burger or some fries I’ll swing through the drive-thru. It amazes that it can take some people so long to order a meal at McDonald’s. Do they think the menu changes? Why do they not think about what they are in the mood for before they arrive? What is the dilemma? You either want a burger, some sort of fried or grilled chicken, fish sandwich, salad or dessert item. It’s not like they have a wine list to read though or daily chef’s specials. It’s supposed to be fast food. It astonishes me that so many people are confused by the double-lanes that are at some locations. It’s just like a bank, no aisle is different than the other, they offer the same food, pick one and move up! And of course, please have your money ready.

AIRPLANE CONCERT?

RED CARD I am not making up this story. As you can tell I am on an airplane a lot, so here is another story of the unbelievable idiots I encounter in my travels. It was Labor Day, Monday, September 6 late afternoon. The airplane was quite full. About mid-way through the flight I noticed how surprisingly peaceful the flight was. I stayed awake this flight since I was traveling with my boyfriend and I thought it rude to sleep. Anyway, all the sudden I hear music blasting from across the plane. Not only was it horrible adult light FM crap, but also it was blasting though an iPhone. So from a distance all you could here were tiny distorted sounds. I managed to get a good look at the idiot and sure enough, it was some guy holding up his iPhone between his and his wife’s seats so they could both enjoy some tunes. Really? Who does that? I was astonished. I of course, gave them my best passive aggressive, what the heck are you thinking stare, so much so that I thought I might have injured myself. I couldn’t believe what was happening, I was speechless. Now that I look back at the incident, I am for lack of a better word, impressed. The idiots in this world surprise me everyday. Each time I think I have encountered the most annoying person or endured the most annoying experience, the next idiot doesn’t fail.

BOARDING, CONT.

RED CARD You have just boarded a subway train – do you move all the way in or stay where you are and simply move to the side? Well, if chose option two, you are an idiot. Every passenger must enter at the front door, therefore by intelligent deductive reasoning, passengers who are already boarded should move as far to the back as they can to accommodate the boarding passengers. I cannot tell you how many times I have had to fight my way though a crowd of idiots as I board the Boston Green Line or a Chicago bus. I just cannot understand why people stand shoulder-to-shoulder in the front when there are empty areas in the back? And what really astonishes me, is that these idiots in the front have the audacity to give me dirty looks for wanting to get by them to reach the open space in the back. Man, people are stupid. It would be so much easier if idiots would just board and then proceed to the farthest possible area of the train. Is that so hard??